Identity

On days like today I need remind­ing where my iden­ti­ty lies.

Today has been much like any oth­er day this year. I got up, show­ered, dressed, ate break­fast came into col­lege. I stum­bled through my tuto­r­i­al, enjoyed a chapel ser­vice and morn­ing tea, sat through a lec­ture and after a lunch chat­ting with oth­ers, ben­e­fit­ed from a sem­i­nar from some oth­er stu­dents who are phys­ios and gen­er­ous­ly gave us some tips and tricks to pre­vent neck and back prob­lems. This after­noon I will study in the library, then go home and make din­ner, prob­a­bly do some read­ing after din­ner and go to bed.

In many ways it has been a very ordi­nary day (although I must admit I am usu­al­ly more alert dur­ing my class­es), but a few benign con­ver­sa­tions and events have left doubts of inad­e­qua­cy run­ning through my head. Things like ‘I couldn’t do a lec­ture on med­i­cine for oth­er stu­dents, I haven’t been a doc­tor long enough and I don’t real­ly know any­thing use­ful to teach,’ ‘I don’t have a lot to con­tribute in the realm of the­ol­o­gy either, I haven’t even fin­ished one year of study,’ ‘I’m nev­er going to be much use pro­fes­sion­al­ly.’ ‘I’d real­ly love to be a part of .…‘s life but they don’t seem to reach out to me,’ ‘I feel so guilty for not hav­ing called … I real­ly care about her but just don’t seem to have the time right now,’ ‘I’m nev­er going to get these assign­ments done, and then I have exams, how will I get through?’

It’s days like today that I need remind­ing where my iden­ti­ty lies.

It’s not the first, and no doubt won’t be the last time I’ve been tempt­ed to lis­ten to that voice that tells me my worth is based in my pro­fes­sion, my knowl­edge, my abil­i­ty to be a friend, wife or suc­cess­ful stu­dent. I also know that I am not alone, lots of peo­ple have these doubts and thoughts that run through their head. What we need to hear though is not that we are worth­while in these areas (although it may be true) but I think what we need to be remind­ed of is where our iden­ti­ty lies:

Therefore if any­one is in Christ, he is a new cre­ation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
-2 Cor. 5:17

My iden­ti­ty, worth and rea­son for being lie in my iden­ti­ty in Christ. That is why I get out of bed each day and that is why I will press onwards. It is in Christ that I can and will find hope.

About Gillian